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RBee wrote: ↑Sat Mar 08, 2025 5:57 pm wd40,

I just read the rest of what you wrote. I am really sorry, to hear what you went through and I apologize for coming across as an insensitive person, making assumptions about someone I don't know. I will be careful next time.

wd40 wrote: ↑Sun Mar 09, 2025 9:10 am

RBee wrote: ↑Sat Mar 08, 2025 5:57 pm wd40,

I just read the rest of what you wrote. I am really sorry, to hear what you went through and I apologize for coming across as an insensitive person, making assumptions about someone I don't know. I will be careful next time.

Don’t be sorry. I didn’t know your story or anyone else’s and likewise others don’t know ours.

But when your wife shares something that happened behind your back, be sympathetic to her. Yes, kids have duties towards parents and you should fulfill yours when they are still around but at the same time, wife was with you through your ups and downs too. Parents leave us due to age, Children leave when it is time to leave nests but a good understanding between couple is the one which stays on as most of us have met maslows’s hierarchy of needs after living n number of years in developed economies!

One will never see "eye-to-eye" with their spouse even after a hundred years since the default expectation is to see eye-to-eye all the time
Continue working relationship with your spouse and develop outside friendships in which you don't need to agree on everything!

this goes back to mgmt theory that i learnt in BSchool. Best teams often go thru Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing (if i remember correctly)

You are in the Norming/Performing stage of your life .. why worry about what happened during the forming/storming phase.. As master Oogway says.."Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present" Make sure you Enjoy unwrapping your present every single day

There is also an adage that 'woman forgives but never forgets' !!

RBee wrote: ↑Sat Mar 08, 2025 5:57 pm wd40,

Money is not everything IMO. TLDR, so please read the below at your own peril

......

After earning millions, I really believed I would have been more happy if I was in India like my sisters.
.....
So if someone says money/status/high post in career are very important for one’s self esteem and to develop passion/hobbies etc, they should walk in my shoes too.

Thank you for sharing. You have been strong in your life's journey, kudos to you!

There is no guarantee that you wouldn't have had to go through what you did, if you were in India. Life is good at throwing curve balls anywhere/anytime. IMHO it could have been much tougher to go through that without good money/status/career - they can't solve all the problems but can alleviate the pain.

RBee wrote: ↑Wed Mar 12, 2025 7:38 pm There is also an adage that 'woman forgives but never forgets' !!

It is not a good quality to have. You must forgive and forget, otherwise it hurts you only.
As humans all our body cells are dying all the time and our body is new. This includes everything, including our brain cells. The person I was 10 years ago, I am not the same anymore. I cannot relate to my 10 year ago self. We all change, we all make mistakes, unknowingly. So we must move on. I read this story below which makes so much sense.

wd40 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 14, 2025 9:44 pm

RBee wrote: ↑Wed Mar 12, 2025 7:38 pm There is also an adage that 'woman forgives but never forgets' !!

It is not a good quality to have. You must forgive and forget, otherwise it hurts you only.
As humans all our body cells are dying all the time and our body is new. This includes everything, including our brain cells. The person I was 10 years ago, I am not the same anymore. I cannot relate to my 10 year ago self. We all change, we all make mistakes, unknowingly. So we must move on. I read this story below which makes so much sense.

Message is good but the Zen story not so much!