R2IClubHangout.org

Razz R wrote: ↑Thu Dec 05, 2024 8:47 am so what about kids OS2 ? will they visit you in india ? don't you want to be near to help with free daycare ?

Kids said they will visit us during Dec/Jan break and wants to meet somewhere in Europe (midway) during summer. We have some family members in Germany, so that will be a good meeting point. Elder one has moved to East Coast and younger not sure where she will land up. We cannot follow them. Elder kid was in NC, London and now NY. I hate cold weather, so not going there between Nov - April. Moving close to them does not arise due to harsh winter.

It is not practical to meet midway. It is just their wish list. I cannot stand bread/pancake breakfast for more than 3 days.

I am tired of 24 hrs of flying to CA. Done that for 30+ years and now time to put an end. Short flights under 10 hours is ok.

We have our own life and want to follow our interests. I got some 20 places to visit in India and outside in this part of the world.I got only 10 years to do that. Travel after 70+ is going to be a pain.

Some NRIs never give a break to their children with the 'India Tamasha' When the kids were growing up, there were possibly consistent threats to yank them away from their homeland and when their kids are growing up, they want them to leave everything to take care of ageing parents. It's very challenging to be an ABCD! We are close to an elderly couple in their eighties 'living' by themselves and we are their 'caretakers'. Their kids living in CA are shi$ scared of what could happen to them but unable to convince them to have them move in with or close to them. Have some flexibility, parents!

Quora tracked my internet activity and e-mailed this interesting discussion. Maybe we should poach some of the participants for this forum!
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-lea ... ika-Sharma

we want to be closer to our family/ be with our family is the reason given by a lot of these folks.. if you have stayed away for 20 plus years.. chances are the family doesn't give a rats ass about you or want you.. what you want is immaterial.. you were an over-performing hustler who is good at driving your kids to over perform or die trying.. so no point pretending now that suddenly moving to India will make everyone chill, drinking culture cola and be like hippies, playing cricket and enjoying holi and other festivals.. you will bring the same killer toxicity to an already overcrowded culture and be killed by better faster natives. so once a rat, you will always be a rat, changing the racetrack is not going to suddenly make you into a rabbit.

Razz R wrote: ↑Fri Dec 06, 2024 12:16 pm we want to be closer to our family/ be with our family is the reason given by a lot of these folks.. if you have stayed away for 20 plus years.. chances are the family doesn't give a rats ass about you or want you.. what you want is immaterial.. you were an over-performing hustler who is good at driving your kids to over perform or die trying.. so no point pretending now that suddenly moving to India will make everyone chill, drinking culture cola and be like hippies, playing cricket and enjoying holi and other festivals.. you will bring the same killer toxicity to an already overcrowded culture and be killed by better faster natives. so once a rat, you will always be a rat, changing the racetrack is not going to suddenly make you into a rabbit.

R2I 2.0 is very rarely about friends and family. It's almost always about early retirement, healthcare coverage until 65 and 'Tirtha yatras'. There is a 99% chance that R2A 2.0 would take place in less than a decade or so.

Razz R wrote: ↑Fri Dec 06, 2024 12:16 pm we want to be closer to our family/ be with our family is the reason given by a lot of these folks.. if you have stayed away for 20 plus years.. chances are the family doesn't give a rats ass about you or want you.. what you want is immaterial.. you were an over-performing hustler who is good at driving your kids to over perform or die trying.. so no point pretending now that suddenly moving to India will make everyone chill, drinking culture cola and be like hippies, playing cricket and enjoying holi and other festivals.. you will bring the same killer toxicity to an already overcrowded culture and be killed by better faster natives. so once a rat, you will always be a rat, changing the racetrack is not going to suddenly make you into a rabbit.

So how is this different when first gen after spending 20+ years with parents in India move to US/West for masters/work and never return? Don't parents in India miss them?

Parents in India have better social life and move on with their own network. For most Desis in phoren land, kids are the only F&F. That is why they want to hang on to them.

old-spice2 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 06, 2024 4:56 pm

Razz R wrote: ↑Fri Dec 06, 2024 12:16 pm we want to be closer to our family/ be with our family is the reason given by a lot of these folks.. if you have stayed away for 20 plus years.. chances are the family doesn't give a rats ass about you or want you.. what you want is immaterial.. you were an over-performing hustler who is good at driving your kids to over perform or die trying.. so no point pretending now that suddenly moving to India will make everyone chill, drinking culture cola and be like hippies, playing cricket and enjoying holi and other festivals.. you will bring the same killer toxicity to an already overcrowded culture and be killed by better faster natives. so once a rat, you will always be a rat, changing the racetrack is not going to suddenly make you into a rabbit.

So how is this different when first gen after spending 20+ years with parents in India move to US/West for masters/work and never return? Don't parents in India miss them?

Parents in India have better social life and move on with their own network. For most Desis in phoren land, kids are the only F&F. That is why they want to hang on to them.

Most of those parents are lonely, helpless and a few manage to convince their kids to R2I. During their prime years they have lived in India and have been in constant touch with F&F for celebrations and most importantly for bereavement and funerals. As morbid as it sounds, the strongest bond happens only during funerals and its aftermath. My brothers have developed a strong bond with our cousins especially due to this. I can't imagine that I can just show up one fine day and get the same treatment.

Razz R wrote: ↑Fri Dec 06, 2024 12:16 pm we want to be closer to our family/ be with our family is the reason given by a lot of these folks.. if you have stayed away for 20 plus years.. chances are the family doesn't give a rats ass about you or want you.. what you want is immaterial.. you were an over-performing hustler who is good at driving your kids to over perform or die trying.. so no point pretending now that suddenly moving to India will make everyone chill, drinking culture cola and be like hippies, playing cricket and enjoying holi and other festivals.. you will bring the same killer toxicity to an already overcrowded culture and be killed by better faster natives. so once a rat, you will always be a rat, changing the racetrack is not going to suddenly make you into a rabbit.

such a cynical take

SAPPORO wrote: ↑Fri Dec 06, 2024 9:57 am Quora tracked my internet activity and e-mailed this interesting discussion. Maybe we should poach some of the participants for this forum!
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-lea ... ika-Sharma

Saar , looking at the comments , I dont think its worth it
--
Fernando Torres
· Dec 1
Is this a true story? At first, I thought the person writing was the husband because of this << But my wife and I thought about what we truly valued>>. However, further down, he mentioned this << We settled in Bengaluru, where I found a senior role in a tech company, and my husband who had previousl…
(more)

Preethy Parthasarathy
· Dec 2
It looks like a typical chtGPT response for a story. The formatting is exactly the same.

Did not know where to post as I don't want to creat a diary. This is about selling experience of household items.

Was able to sell most of the stuff. I thought I need to get them hauled and pay for it, instead made around two grand in selling 10+ yrs stuff. Two cars also went for good price.

One thing I learned during the process. Never entertain Chinese buyers - majority of them want to get new stuff at 20% price. One lady bought/paid $40 for PC chair thru Venmo and I decided not to ship it to India. It was in good shape and only 4 years old. New one comes around for $120. Later on backed out saying it is not rolling right and handle bar does not have cushion. We published the photo and gave all spec in the ad. I was cursing as the container had already left. But finally a good soul (white guy) took it off from my hand. Worst part is I have to pay $50 to dispose it off if it did not sell.

Indian buyers are ok and some of them haggle. White and Latinos are best. They ask all questions beforehand and once decided pay and take the stuff. One Latino family came to buy dining table and instead bought 5 more items. I learned the art of upselling like a car salesman who sells extended warranty, paint protection when you buy a new car.

Car sale was good - used Auto Trader and one guy came from Sac and bought it without doing any test drive. I provided Carfax, smog test and he liked it due to low miles (4K per year). Second car also got a decent price. These will fund a new 2025 model car in India but a downgrade from a BMW to Wagon-R.

Few buyers asked why are you going back? Do you have any visa problem? I said I am fleeing from Trump

EDIT - Moved from ""India Bashing"